Albert Carmine is best known for his masterpiece, the Albert Carmine Burger, for which he is the namesake, but many of his dedicated followers believe there is more that lay under the bun. LCD’s Investigative Unit tracked him down to find out the mouthwatering details. From roach breeding to transhumanist innovation, Albert Carmine has it all.

How did you get into biohacking/transhumanism? Was the Carmine Watch your first attempt?

I got into transhumanism through the movie “Surrogates” with Bruce willis. I realized that we are wasting our bodies by spending so much time on everyday things that we could integrate with ourselves. 

What inspired you to create the first Carmine Watch? 

I started thinking about what I could do to make my life more efficient. I looked at my wrist and the answer was right there!

The Carmine Watch V1

What advantages does it have over a regular smart watch?

I want to make this watch replace everything in our lives… perhaps it could even control type 2 diabetes one day. Right now it has the advantage of not having it fall off, and being customizable to fit any need you have for a normal smartwatch, or phone. Currently, with our watches you have no need for a phone or watch. In the future I want to replace all computers of any kind with these watches.

In your own words, walk us through the installation process

Right now there are two methods to install the watch. The first is a normal transdermal implant… The second method that we are experimenting with due to issues with bone structure and fitting is making a custom titanium base, where we can carve a slot into the bone, and replace it with an enforced base that is screwed directly into the bone. This method is much more efficient and safer.

You seemed to get a lot of pushback from people online regarding the watch. What do you have to say to your haters and doubters?

People said the same things about the first cars or toilets. They may be haters, but like it or not it will be the future!

You say you’ve been breeding roaches since the 90s. How did you get started?

I got started when I opened a pet store… We would sell roaches and rats for feeding of various animals, however roaches were a top seller. Soon I found that the roaches made more money than any other part of the pet store (especially with more practical applications in the industry), and it all happened from there.

What is the vision behind the Albert Carmine Burger? Is there more to it than just a simple cheese burger?

The albert carmine burger has a long history… It all started when I had an “oklahoma style burger” in the big city (oklahoma city). Later this restaurant closed due to roach infestation but I have been seeking to recreate it my entire life since. I have come to a burger that is life changing.

Is The Burger best enjoyed alone, or with friends? What sides are typical with an Albert Carmine Burger?

The Carmine burger can be enjoyed in any way… Often for a side you can do a simple side of fries, or go crazy with chipotle mayo and fried okra. It really is up to you, I have made the carmine burger formulated to fit with any set of flavors so it can be enjoyed on any occasion… even thanksgiving!

What would you like to change about society’s perception of the burger? Do you feel limited by your customer base?

Currently, nobody seems to appreciate the carmine burger outside of a few select people asking me for the recipe.. but I can tell you anyone who makes this will indeed change their mind.

What advice would you give to any readers at home wanting to make their own Albert Carmine burger? Is it even possible to create one without your resources?

All you need for a carmine burger is a few simple ingredients:

  1. Cheddar or pepper jack cheese
  2. A brioche or other artisan bun
  3. Signature carmine sauce (Mayo, pepper, salt, valentina hot sauce, a small bit of pickle juice, a hint of ranch, and dillweed)
  4. Onions
  5. Worcestershire sauce

You also need a griddle to cook the burgers. Take your beef, cut one onion and combine it with the meat. Add a few splashes of Worcestershire sauce and olive oil and pepper heavily. Combine them into equal balls of meat. Take them to your griddle and take any device you can use to smash your burger, and smash it until it’s completely flat. Then heavily salt before it cooks. Wait until it’s all the way cooked, then serve it with lots of mustard, carmine sauce, cheese and vegetables of your choice.

If you, Albert Carmine, had a mission statement, what would it be?

My mission is to bring the truth to both sides of the aisle about what is REALLY going on these days… They don’t want you to know about roaches, or watch implants, or any other thing I discover. As time goes on I want to keep learning these new technologies and ideas and spreading it to people.

Learn even more about Albert Carmine in LCD Magazine Issue 3

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